For some people, fangirling/fanboying over something is just a phase -- a phase that you are sure you'll grow out of as the years go by. Becoming a Kpop fangirl last January 2013, I honestly thought it would be just one of those phases. I was experiencing a rough situation that time and any form of distraction was more than welcome. Besides, I have always liked Asian dramas and culture since I was a kid so getting crazy over Korean idols was not really surprising.

The further I immersed myself in the Kpop fandom world, the more I realized that my crazy fangirling was not really a "phase." It has become a part of my lifestyle. I don't just fangirl when I'm bored or when I have to distract myself from the realities of life. Fangirling over Kpop is one of my inspirations to work hard, learn more, and to better myself. Knowing the stories of these Kpop idols -- how they worked hard during their trainee days, what they had to sacrifice in order to debut, and how they are continuously improving themselves, motivates me to "refine" the different aspects of my life.

I have always known that some of my interests are writing, designing websites, and reading books. I dreamt of becoming an author when I was little, had "web designer" as one of my career choices when I was in high school, and a large bookshelf teeming with books I read is testament to bookworm Leana. These interests are also tied to why I have a blog for more than 11 years now (writing + web design + storytelling). 

Along the way, I stopped allotting time for these things. School, then eventually work, occupied my weekdays. When weekends rolled around, I would often feel tired and would "reward" myself by not doing anything. It was a viable scenario at first -- work-filled weekdays and bum weekends. In the long run, however, it led to dissatisfaction and frustration. My life basically revolved around work and recovering from work stress. I was not doing the things I enjoy most because in my perspective, I didn't have enough time. 

Learning more about Kpop idols, I found out that despite their busy schedules, they still manage to compose/write songs, read books, go to school/university (!!!) etc. in their (very little) spare time. That fact made me feel ashamed of myself; if they have time, what's my excuse, really?

Now, it's my goal to read at least 30 books this 2016. I also opened somekindofamazing, my first ever public blog, for me to write more. With regard to making layouts, I actually had a "successful" layout gallery in one Kpop-related website where I made layouts for fellow Kpop fans. I'm claiming it as successful because I had around 4k+ followers and I got featured lol. That was back in 2013, when I just graduated college and didn't have a job yet. My web design goal is slated for next year.

Little by little, one step at a time, I'm going back to the things I love doing and improving my skills related to these!

Lucky me, foreign languages and culture have always been my interest. I believe one of the reasons why I am still a Kpop fangirl is because I'm having fun learning another language and culture. It's like combining my passion (languages and culture) with my hobby (fangirling!). I actually enrolled in a legit Korean language class last year so I could study Hangul in a more formal setting. My Korean language goal is taking the backseat this year but I will definitely continue my lessons this coming 

2017. I have also seen fans all over social media sites trying hard to study Korean because of their K-idols. The influence is real!

Watching variety shows of Kpop idols also gives us fans a glimpse of South Korea's culture. From formalities, to bowing, to the lifestyle in Korean Buddhist Temples -- you can all observe these through variety shows! Next thing you know, you're explaining the South Korean culture to your clueless friend or you catch yourself bowing when you see an older person (don't worry, I can relate!) :D

3.) To take care of myself more

Because of my admiration for Korean idols' flawless skin, fit body, and superb style, fangirling inspired me to focus on my physical well-being. You might think that that's shallow and vain but honestly, for me, it's the opposite! Doing the Korean skin care routine, attempting to follow a workout schedule and a healthy diet, or intentionally wearing a more "put together" outfit make me feel more confident. "When you look good, you feel good" has never been more true, especially since you know that you put effort into how you look... and you actually and sincerely like it :) 

Oh JYP, my favorite entertainment agency~

As a fangirl, people may judge that our priorities are not straight. Spending thousands of pesos on a concert or on fandom merchandise is actually quite... impractical. I'm lucky because when I became a hardcore fangirl, I was already earning my own money. For the other fans who are still in school however, they save money from their daily allowance! It instills the discipline of saving up for something you really want and not just relying on your parents for these buys.

Fans don't just save money for merch ok! Almost every Kpop fan wants to go to South Korea at least once in their lives and fans are actually allotting money for their Korea travel fund. I should know because I did the same thing... and successfully achieved one of my biggest #fangirlgoals (see also: April 2016 South Korea Trip Stories).

If in the future one decides to leave the Kpop fan life, the discipline of saving up for something will (still) stay! :D

This is the Kpop fan lifestyle in a nutshell. When you see how your bias group's vocal/dancing/variety skills keep on improving every comeback, when you see them producing their own songs and choreographing their own dance routine, when you see them attending school during their short break, when you see their jam-packed schedule but still having the time to do all the aforementioned... how can you not get inspired, really? 

Another way to see it is how fans strive to study hard and to always work hard for their goals because the ideal type of their bias is someone who has those qualities. Even if fans like me know that the chances of us ending up with our biases are slimmer than slim, we still want to somehow be close to our bias/es' ideal type. It's a form of motivation, really. Hey! Maybe we'd end up with someone who's almost as dreamlike as our bias/es, right? :D 

P.S. Sorry for the lack of updates for the past 2 weeks. I got sick twice within the span of those weeks, I just started working again AND a lot of other celebrations occurred. Thankful!! :D I will be doing a Life Update entry soon as plus the rest of my South Korea stories :D For now, good night!! :D